Reflecting

Wednesday, 29 August 2018


I haven't written a 'life' post in a while. I've just been trucking along as usual and getting on with things as best I can. I haven't had anything super interesting to report, and I haven't been in the best place either. July and August were hard months with work, new medication, and a lack of motivation. It all felt too heavy so I just pushed on through the best I could, I didn't feel like sitting down and writing a life update. I just needed to get on with it and come out the other end.

The end of August has picked up massively - I have started taking a new antidepressant so my mood has picked up, I have come to the decision to change things up a bit in my life by looking for a new job and deciding to go back to university next year(!) and it feels like I'm suddenly going forward instead of standing still. None of this is set in stone, but I'm very passionate about changing a lot of things that will make me happy because I'm tired of not being happy. I feel like I'm too young to have given up on everything already. I don't want to settle, I don't want to stay still, I want to go out there and see what I can do.


I have had an incredible summer, too. I've done everything I wanted and more which has made up for all the previous bad summers we've had where it's rained most of the time and the sun never shows its face, and I've spent far too much time inside being sad. I've spent time with nature, I've eaten a hundred meals outside in the sun, and I've seen my aunts, uncles and cousins more than I have in years which has been so comforting.

My blog is growing very slowly, which is better than not at all I suppose. My monthly engaged on Pinterest is climbing for the first time in around six months and I am getting a few more comments on my blog posts which makes me feel like wow, I'm not actually talking to myself all the time! It's nice to know someone's reading my ramblings. One comment or one like/retweet on Twitter means more than you could ever imagine.

I'm just plodding along, getting shit done, napping a lot, and trying my best. That should be the title of my autobiography.

Anyone else in a similar boat?


Kate

2 comments:

  1. Hi Kate,
    I've just found your blog amd have gotten this far and I just wanted to tell you that I think your blog is really nice. I look forward to reading the rest of your older posts.I never write comments on blogs because I'm somehow embarrassed because it's not my nature to be very social...even on a fairly anonymous internet. I read what you said about depression and wanting to somehow pull yourself into a better mindset. I'm a melancholy sort and have struggled off and on in my life and have always preferred solitude over interaction, depression settling in when I don't have enough time alone. I've worked alot in my life but the only two jobs I ever LOVED were doing archaeology and working at a marine science center....and for the first time I did not have to crave solitude. Everyday was full. I learned and expanded amongst people that were like me. I believe that when you have a job you don't dread, despression can lift and everyday can be new and rewarding on many levels. I hope things go well for you and that you find something that fills your time in a way that doesn't feel like you're spinning your wheels. Most everybody does some wheel-spinning in their lives, you just can't make it a habit.
    Not commenting on blogs, I have the feeling that I've somehow fucked up the layout of what I've written...that it may come out in bits and pieces...Hope not. But if it has, my apologies.
    One of my favorite sayings is 'They can kill you, but they can't eat you'
    It helps to keep that in mind.
    Good luck and I look forward to checking out your Pinterest: A time-sucking, life-stealing, I've-got-it under-control-now-thank god.

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    Replies
    1. Thank-you so much for your response, it means a lot to know someone has been in the same place but has come out the other end. I've recently applied to do a diploma in a subject I LOVE so I'm hoping this is the start of something new, exciting and fulfilling. Like you said, I don't want to make wheel-spinning a habit (however I'm worried that it already has) so I figured it's definitely time to take that leap into the unknown. Keeping my fingers crossed that it all goes up from here!

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